Twitter Rules for #gigatownoamaru Fans

There has lately been an explosion in Twitter activity from Oamaruvians and supporters of Oamaru’s bid to win the Chorus Gigatown competition. Unfortunately, not all of the tweets are going to count toward our score, since Chorus have some pretty specific rules about what is and is not considered spam for the purposes of the competition. Of course, tweets must comply with Twitter’s own terms of use, which should go without saying. But on top of that, here are Chorus’ “pro tips” on correct use of Twitter for this year-long contest:

  1. If Twitter prevents you from tweeting or retweeting for a while, you have reached the limit that they impose to prevent spamming. This is of course considered spam so don’t do it.
  2. Tweets that take the form of “I’m heading out for a walk in #gigatownoamaru” do not comply with Chorus’ rule that posts must not reveal to Chorus employees that not all people in New Zealand are chained to their desks and forbidden to enjoy unsupervised perambulations of their surroundings, so no points will be earned for it. Same applies to retweets of such posts.
  3. Chorus hires people who live and breathe the internet to administer this competition. These are the people we used to call “geeks” until they made a gazillion dollars inventing Candy Crush Saga. They do not acknowledge the existence of anything not related to the internet or this competition, so if you tweet such a link it won’t earn you any points (ditto for retweets).
  4. Tweets of photos that are unrelated to the competition don’t count for pretty much the same reason as #3 above. Need I mention that the same applies to retweets? Surely you’ve figured that out by now.
  5. For some reason, people love to tweet things like “Wow, it’s gonna be 25 degrees in #gigatownwopwops today”. Chorus employees all work in underground dungeons and have therefore not seen the light of day in years. These posts just make them angry so I bet they even deduct points when people do this. Don’t let it happen to you.
  6. Posts about funny news items may be amusing to you, but not to the humourless drones who populate the caves at Chorus HQ. No points earned.
  7. Do you know what they eat at Chorus’ offices? It’s called Soylent Green, and if you knew what it’s made of you’d also be pretty upset when folks tweet photos of the delicious meals they’re eating up on the surface. No wonder they don’t award points for these.
  8. As you can well imagine, the folks at Chorus don’t have many friends. As a result, they cannot be expected to understand that it could be possible for someone in Oamaru to follow so many interesting people that he or she could easily post more than four ‘retweets’ for every original tweet. As a result, anyone who exceeds a 1-to-4 ratio of tweets to retweets will find that they lose points. Easy solution: for every four items you retweet, write something interesting and original.
  9. Final rule: before you hit the “tweet” button, imagine what the famed ^JD, the Chorus engineer who trolls the internet for spam, will think of what you’re posting. It may be easier to do this if you knew what ^JD looks like. Happily, we have a photo of him from a recent excursion to the surface: Green_Monster

So, those are the pretty simple rules. If you have any questions about any of them, just contact the friendly people behind the #Gigatownoamaru campaign.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in new zealand and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Twitter Rules for #gigatownoamaru Fans

  1. Is this for real or do I detect a hint of exaggeration in this statement? Whatever, I love the verbosity! #gigstownoam is so good at this!

  2. Bother, I spelt it wrongly again – “s” is next to “a” so it happens on my keyboard! Sorry to any #gigatownoam fans!

  3. homepaddock says:

    Re rule number 7 – bother was going to tweet photo of lunch in a town 21/2 hours from home (you know the one that’s temporarily ahead of #gigatownoamaru). One of the blokes behind the other town’s campaign was at the lunch – they’re slick but so are we.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s